HOLY @&$# ! .....WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

.15% - Less than 1%

This is the statistic that Sean and I found ourselves in this week.

So for the past 3-4 weeks I have felt fat and tired and I have kept joking around with Sean that I felt pregnant. We both laugh and say, "Oh that is impossible!" Finally on Sunday I decided to check the calendar. I kept counting and counting and my heart started pounding. I got to 49 days I started into a panic attack. I proceed to tell Sean how late I am, and he gave me the usual you are not pregnant. I told him that he is going to need to take me to the mental hospital and admit me for the next year, if I am pregnant. He said go to Walmart and get a test, so we can both sleep tonight. I get back and take the test. I had barely put the cap on the end before the plus sign was showing up. I could feel the blood rising up my chest to my face. The flushing had begun. (This is something that all Shepherd sisters do when they are mad or upset.) I walk into the family and chuck the test at Sean. A bewildered look and disbelief came across his face. I don't believe it, I am going to get another test. 5 minutes later he is back with two more tests. I go in and take the second test and the same result is repeated. I check the expiration date, nope 2010. Could I have taken something that would give a false positive? How could this be? Sean had, had a vasectomy over a year ago. We were free from swimmers! Then the fun began. Sean started to freak out. How could this happen? I could tell he wanted to ask me the question.... The question that would be fighting words... He said to me, "What are you going to do when my test comes back negative for swimmers?" My (edited) response was, "What will that change for me, I will still be pregnant?" That is when the crying began. He is always scared when I cry because it never happens. It was dead silent for the rest of the evening. The next day Sean took his sample to the doctor's office. Dr. Platt called him the early the next morning. He said congratulations you are my third patient in more than 3000 procedures to get pregnant. So I guess that fits the statistic. He said that he thinks that a stitch has come undone. Because in a field under a microscope there are usually hundreds of swimmers, Sean had 2-3 swimmers. He is still in the sterile category and a normal couple would never get pregnant. I guess the operative word is normal.

Please make a note that this was Sean's second vasectomy. After we had Porter he had his first vasectomy done (2001) . We decided that Porter needed more siblings because he was always so traumatized when all the other kids would go to the other parents house. Then the reversal was done in 2004. I got pregnant with Cole 9 days after the surgery. I got pregnant with Jack the first time we didn't use birth control. Porter was my IUD baby. The only form of birth control that I was confident in was the vasectomy. I used to joke that the vasectomy was the last form of birth control that the Shepherd sisters had not disproved. Well I think that we have covered them all.

The next topic on this matter is regarding whether this will be a girl or a boy. Let me explain my point of view. I have come to love the idea that I have all boys. While it would be wonderful to have a girl, my expectations are low that, that will occur. So I would be just as happy with either. So if I find out that I am having another boy, please do not feel bad for me!

When anyone asked me if we were going to have any more children I would emphatically say, "Nope we are done!" with a big smile on my face. So you can understand how hard this situation is for me. Morning sickness, exhaustion, getting fat, feeling like crap, endless contractions, not sleeping, ugly dark roots, labor, delivery, post partum depression, nursing, colic, losing weight, losing my hair, three car seats, on and on and on. That said, there is obviously a huge reason why this is happening. I am sure that one day I will be glad that all this happened. I am not there yet.

One day at a time.....

So you want to date my daughter .....

Alix thought he was joking all these years....

Sean has been threatening to be cleaning his guns when her dates come to pick her up.

They were good sports. We thought it would be funny!

I think all high school dates should begin with Dad and a shot gun.

Mountain View Homecoming 2008

Aupiu Abbott is in our ward. He asked Alix to his Homecoming.

SO CUTE!!

Tender Daddy Moment

The corsage and boutonniere ritual...

What beautiful girls!!

Aupui & Alix set up Katie (Alix's friend)

with Michael Benson (Aupui's friend)
They all had a good time.

WHAT MAKES MJ HAPPY?

I was passing by this bedroom window when I saw this going on outside. This made me think of Elder Ballard's talk last conference. In reference to being a mother "happiness and satisfaction happens in moments." My boys happily working together. This was one of my moments. A moment when you think that it is all worth it!

UNEXPECTED LIFE EXPERIENCE FOR MJ

It all started with a little piece of mail. The letter began with you have been selected for jury duty. Those words would reek havoc in my world over the next few days. The usual thoughts go through your head, I don't have time for this right now, what can i say or do to get out of this? In the letter it said that you have a 1 in 4 chance of being selected for the jury. Monday I show up at the courthouse with a drink, egg mcmuffin, iPod, laptop, and a bag full of work. After watching this lame video about how it our duty to serve as jurors, we had to stand up in front of the other 35 people and tell about ourselves. What we do for a living, how many kids we have, what we like to read, watch, and do? After that we were taken and individually interviewed by both attorneys the judge and the defendant. Then we waited and waited some more. Then they all came back into the courtroom and read off a list of 8 names. I sat there in disbelief as my name was read. What are the odds? Oh yeah 25%! That sucks! They immediately began the trial and all the fun began. We were told that this was a criminal trial for the sexual abuse of a child. From the moment I walked into the courtroom, I got the heeby geebies from one of the men sitting at the table. He turned out to be the defendant. No one explains to you the pressure and emotional stress that jurors go through when deciding the rest of someones life. At the end of each day I would come home and squeeze and kiss my kids. Then I would be so exhausted I would want to crash on my bed. I kept thinking how could sitting my butt in a chair all day doing nothing make me so pooped. I soon realized that emotional stress makes me more tired than hours of kickboxing. It was heartbreaking to hear this 15 year girl tell how her step dad started abusing her when she was 6. He would turn on Sponge Bob and Bob the Builder in her room in the morning and abuse her before school. Her mother, while not involved, was just as disappointing. It is very sobering to realize that these situations exist everywhere. It is not a wonder that our world is going to hell in a hand basket. This experience has opened my eyes and given me a different perspective. So many of the people who end up criminals or drug addicts, never had a good start to life. Their childhoods are horrific and unfathomable to most of us! The breakdown of the family is responsible for a majority of our societies woes. I didn't sleep very well the night before we had to decide on a verdict. The evidence was minimal and the witnesses contradicted each other. So it came down to, who do you believe. We were deciding the fate of two people. The defendant and the victim. I was very lucky to have amazing people to work with on the jury. Several of the women were in tears. After about 5 hours of deliberation we decided that he was guilty. Then we had to go into the court room to face the defendant, the victim, and all of their families. You know in cartoons when they show their heart jumping out of their chest. That is what I felt like. The court clerk read the verdict and the victim let out a big cry. She had been pretty unemotional throughout the trial. It was good to see the reaction. I was nervous about the reactions of his family. His son was waiting in the parking lot after and watching everyone leave. I was a little freaked for the next couple days, thinking that he was going to show up at my house. I would like to thank all those that helped with my boys! This experience will not soon be forgotten.

GIRLS GONE WILD (The Mormon Version)

Do you know what happens when 6 Mormon Moms escape and head to the Desert?

GIRLS GONE WILD... Well the Mormon version anyway!

Me, Melissa (Hirschi) Thatcher, Shannon (Herbert) Child, Holly (Olsen) Kneeland, Julie (Peterson) Haskins, and Kari (Skinner) Morrison (taking the pic) took a trip to Palm Desert in June. It took me about a day to start to relax. After that we all really let loose, and I don't just mean Melissa :) (see her blog for details)

Laughing, crying, eating, shopping, swimming, exercising, laying out, playing funny games, driving, getting ready, picture taking, playing tennis, surfing the net for mug shots of people we knew and laughing and eating some more.

LAUGHING

I didn't need to do a single sit up while I was gone, because I did enough laughing to fill several workouts. This can be a little dangerous for those of us who have had a few children. :)

EATING

We definitely did a lot of eating! Here we are at a mexican restaurant eating.

Here we are at brunch after tennis workout.

We went out to eat at Ruth's Chris. I had never eaten there before, but most of the friends had and they raved about it. I am not much of a steak eater, but it was really good! My favorite had to be our dessert though! It was bread pudding with a rum sauce. I was practically licking the plate. Ok I really was!

SHOPPING

Women + vacation = shopping

We spent two days shopping at a really awesome outlet mall in Palm Desert. Melissa was so funny. She always wanted things that others bought. It is way nice to shop with friends and ask them their opinion and not get the default answer of that looks great honey.




EXERCISING/PLAYING TENNIS

I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse, but I can't NOT workout everyday. So we made the venture to the Gold's Gym in Palm Desert on Saturday. That was the most sweaty workout I have ever had at a gym. Hello where was the A/C? It is freaking Palm Desert and is 115 degrees outside! We didn't go back once we discovered the country club fitness center. That is the way to workout! Bottled water and a towel was waiting for you. Every piece of cardio equipment had it's own flat screen. We played tennis there on Sunday. We only lasted about an hour before we were about to black out from dehydration. I have never sweat so much in my life! There was definitely no water weight gain on this trip!



SWIMMING/LAYING OUT




Laying out was serious business for some. I love to be in the sun. It makes me happy, but I coat myself (mainly my face) with sunscreen. The sun is not friendly when it comes to the aging process.





Something I have been noticing since I am "getting old," as Porter puts it. Hanging out by the pool with your friends is one of my happy places!




PLAYING FUNNY GAMES
This is where we played true colors, a really funny game. We talked until the wee hours of the morning most nights, mostly laughing but some crying. Everyone sharing stories of their lives. Reminiscing old stories and sharing new ones. I am glad that we love and trust each other enough to share feelings and stories that are very personal. This is also where we checked out the utah county jail website and looked up people that we knew. This was very entertaining and very sad at the same time. If you know us and you have been arrested then we probably were checking you out.



DRIVING

Ok so let's discuss the driving situation I have been getting a lot of flack for my driving, while I am sure that most of it is true. I would say that I handled things pretty well, considering the

other four girls in the car who didn't know where we were going either and trying to understand four different people trying to tell me which way to go. Patience is usually not a strong suit of mine. If I had a dollar for every U turn we made it would have paid for my trip. We definitely have to go back now that we know where everything is. All I have to say is thank you Brigham Young for doing it the right way here!

PICTURE TAKING
I don't quite remember why we were hugging the tree. This was the last day I think we were all a little crazy due to sleep deprevation.

Holly was making a funny from the movie sixteen candles.

Melissa and I realized that we were the only ones hugging and that made us laugh hysterically.

FUNNY FACES

Julie & Holly were pros at pulling crazy faces.

A big huge thanks to my sweet awesome sister Jill for letting us stay at her beautiful house in Palm Desert!

MVHS CLASS OF 1993
It is hard to believe that it has been 15 years since high school. Wow what a weekend! All my friends are hotties aren't they?! It was really great to get together and talk about the goings on of our lives and realizing that we all have our challenges and no one's life is perfect. It was so good to see Holly! What a woman! After hanging with the girls for a few days, I felt like a new person. I can actually do more than change poopy diapers, cook, clean, do laundry, and chauffer my kids around. Thanks ladies for an awesome time!

THE DEAD COCKROACH

There was a dead cockroach on the floor in the hallway at the house. We probably walked passed it a hundred times, but none of us would pick it up. I am so glad that we do not have them here in Utah.

THE RANGERS "We Are The Champions"

2008 Orem Youth Baseball Major League Champions

The Rangers

Austin is on the back row with the catchers gear on.

THE PROUD PARENTS

Austin played catcher and third baseman.

Watch this clip. This is one of his good hits from the championship game. He hit it to the fence two of the three hits.

CONGRATS AUSTIN!

You are the MAN!

TOP 10 THINGS THAT SYMBOLIZE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY DAD

1. Holey garments and socks: FINANCIALLY CONSERVATIVE, growing up we all used to tease my Dad for wearing holey garments, socks, shoes, etc. This I did not truly appreciate until I had a large family. I find myself trying to make something due for a little longer to save some money. I had a good laugh at myself when I realized that I had been wearing my garment bottoms with a hole in it for a few months. I now know how much my Dad sacrificed in order to house, feed, and clothe all of us.

2. Worn Brown Triple Combination: SPIRITUAL DILIGENCE, if you went into my parent's bathroom growing up, you would always find a brown triple combination. He has always been an amazing example of scripture study. I know that he has a true love of the scriptures and especially the Book of Mormon. Today if you go into that same bathroom you will find a black triple combination that hopefully one day will be held together by a rubberband, like my Dad's.

3. Dollar Days Sign: ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT, whenever I go into a store that has a dollar sale promotion, I will always think of my Father. We grew up selling things door-to-door, yard sales and helping with promotions at stores. Frequently, I get asked the question why so many of us have our own businesses. This is the reason! He helped us understand that we could do it!

4. Binoculars: LOVE FOR NATURE & SCIENCE, my Dad could tell you the name of just about any bird or plant. He took me bird watching, fishing, camping, etc. I developed a real love for nature. This is coming in handy with my boys.

5. Green K. Swiss Tennis Shoes: WORK ETHIC, my Dad used to wear an old pair of green K. Swiss tennis shoes to mow the lawn. There was always something to be done around our house and my Dad was always busy doing something.

6. Light Switch: CONSERVATION, anyone who has lived with my father can attest to his tireless effort to turn off lights. He also conserved when it came to the thermostat. Growing up, many a winter mornings you could find me sitting on the heater vent with a blanket. Porter has now taken over that position in our house. Sean calls me Jay frequently, but it is mostly when I am turning off lights.

7. Guckum Pucky: YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO BE SILLY, my Dad is wacky! When you mix mayo and mustard you get guckum pucky. We ate it on ham. He had funny wacky phrases, like when we asked what we were going to do for FHE he would say, "Choose up sides and smell arm pits" or we would ask what is for dinner? He would say, "Stewed prunes and sour kraut" And who could forget driving in the car to California and not singing "Jumped on a chicken coup!"

8. Thrifty Ice Cream, Cutie Pies, & Totinos Pizzas: FAMILY TIME IS IMPORTANT, he made time for me even when he was busy and traveling a lot. Saturday Thrifty ice cream cones were the best! Cutie Pies and Totinos Pizzas were for the weekends when he was home. This was a huge treat to us!

9.The Old Brown Spinny Bar Stool: HONORING HIS PRIESTHOOD, this was the blessing chair growing up. My father has given me countless blessing. With nine children it was not a wonder that the stool wore out. He is an amazing example of honoring his priesthood.

10. Liberty Park: GOALS, how to set and achieve your goals. He had a contest with Michael, Me, Ritch, and Jen to get us to say our prayers and read our scriptures. If we reached our goal he would take us somewhere fun. I think that we went to Lagoon as the grand prize. It was this contest that helped me develop the habit for prayer and scripture study as a kid. I am very grateful today for those habits.

Thanks for making me who I am!

I wear my Jay badge proudly!

6th Grade Graduation

This event freaked me out. Austin will be going to Lakeridge Junior High in August. He will soon be a teenager. I couldn't be having any more fun with him. He is such an awesome kid. It is weird that he went to the same elementary school and now the same junior high.

DAD & AUSTIE
MOM & AUSTIE
Austin & Mr. Harward

His teacher taught @ Vineyard when I was there.

Discovery Park

Jack kept trying to eat the bark. It was pretty funny to watch his face as he spit it out.

The Tire Swing

a.k.a.

The Vomit Trap

Jack's 1st Birthday

YUMMY!

I always love watching them eat their cake.

It dawned on me that this would be the last 1st birthday party. I was sad for about 5 seconds, and then I came to my senses.

My 1st Haircut

What a cutie!

Jack has had the most hair of all of my babies. The other three didn't have this much hair until they were two. You gotta love the baby curls!

MOTHER'S DAY

BITTER SWEET
This is a difficult day for me. While I love the cards from the kids and wonderful gifts from my husband. It is only a huge reminder that I do not have a mother to go and visit and bring a gift. I miss her more everyday. As I am going through a challenging time with having more work, chores, errands, etc, etc. than is possible to accomplish with babies, toddlers, and teenagers at the same time. I reflect on how my mother survived having nine children and this was before Prozac was invented. She is an amazing example of many things: determination, education, poise, positive attitude, integrity and on, and on. The thing that I miss the most is her hugs. I will forever remember how soft her skin was and how she smelled. There was always a feeling that everything is going to be okay.

On a lighter side... Porter's Mother's Day card will definitely be saved. He wrote that he never wants to leave me. I think that I will have to pull it out when he tells me that he is thinking about getting married.

Sean does such a great job of trying to take care of me and make it a good day. Thanks baby!

WORK, WORK, WORK

This is my world! Taking every possible moment to fit in more work. The best is what is going on in the background. You can also see the trash can on the counter. That is why I now work at the bar in the kitchen instead of my office. Also note that this pic was taken at 7:30 pm. I workout at the gym at 9:30 am, I was finally able to shower at 9 pm after they all went to bed.

BASEBALL MANIA

Austin is playing on two baseball teams, a super league team (The Mustangs) and a city league team (The Rangers). The Rangers won the championship last year and most of the team is back again this year. He is playing catcher, third base, and outfield. Who has room for groceries when the back of your car is full of baseball equipment, strollers, car seats, etc? He is sure fun to watch.