HOLY @&$# ! .....WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

.15% - Less than 1%

This is the statistic that Sean and I found ourselves in this week.

So for the past 3-4 weeks I have felt fat and tired and I have kept joking around with Sean that I felt pregnant. We both laugh and say, "Oh that is impossible!" Finally on Sunday I decided to check the calendar. I kept counting and counting and my heart started pounding. I got to 49 days I started into a panic attack. I proceed to tell Sean how late I am, and he gave me the usual you are not pregnant. I told him that he is going to need to take me to the mental hospital and admit me for the next year, if I am pregnant. He said go to Walmart and get a test, so we can both sleep tonight. I get back and take the test. I had barely put the cap on the end before the plus sign was showing up. I could feel the blood rising up my chest to my face. The flushing had begun. (This is something that all Shepherd sisters do when they are mad or upset.) I walk into the family and chuck the test at Sean. A bewildered look and disbelief came across his face. I don't believe it, I am going to get another test. 5 minutes later he is back with two more tests. I go in and take the second test and the same result is repeated. I check the expiration date, nope 2010. Could I have taken something that would give a false positive? How could this be? Sean had, had a vasectomy over a year ago. We were free from swimmers! Then the fun began. Sean started to freak out. How could this happen? I could tell he wanted to ask me the question.... The question that would be fighting words... He said to me, "What are you going to do when my test comes back negative for swimmers?" My (edited) response was, "What will that change for me, I will still be pregnant?" That is when the crying began. He is always scared when I cry because it never happens. It was dead silent for the rest of the evening. The next day Sean took his sample to the doctor's office. Dr. Platt called him the early the next morning. He said congratulations you are my third patient in more than 3000 procedures to get pregnant. So I guess that fits the statistic. He said that he thinks that a stitch has come undone. Because in a field under a microscope there are usually hundreds of swimmers, Sean had 2-3 swimmers. He is still in the sterile category and a normal couple would never get pregnant. I guess the operative word is normal.

Please make a note that this was Sean's second vasectomy. After we had Porter he had his first vasectomy done (2001) . We decided that Porter needed more siblings because he was always so traumatized when all the other kids would go to the other parents house. Then the reversal was done in 2004. I got pregnant with Cole 9 days after the surgery. I got pregnant with Jack the first time we didn't use birth control. Porter was my IUD baby. The only form of birth control that I was confident in was the vasectomy. I used to joke that the vasectomy was the last form of birth control that the Shepherd sisters had not disproved. Well I think that we have covered them all.

The next topic on this matter is regarding whether this will be a girl or a boy. Let me explain my point of view. I have come to love the idea that I have all boys. While it would be wonderful to have a girl, my expectations are low that, that will occur. So I would be just as happy with either. So if I find out that I am having another boy, please do not feel bad for me!

When anyone asked me if we were going to have any more children I would emphatically say, "Nope we are done!" with a big smile on my face. So you can understand how hard this situation is for me. Morning sickness, exhaustion, getting fat, feeling like crap, endless contractions, not sleeping, ugly dark roots, labor, delivery, post partum depression, nursing, colic, losing weight, losing my hair, three car seats, on and on and on. That said, there is obviously a huge reason why this is happening. I am sure that one day I will be glad that all this happened. I am not there yet.

One day at a time.....